So what is an existential crisis? What does that even mean? What do I even mean? What does it mean to mean anything? What is real? Am I real? Are you? These are the types of questions that tap into the deeper questions of what is real, what does it mean to be / exist, how do I exist, what’s the point, etc. Exploring these can lead you to wonder what’s the point and why even bother. Or, maybe what you thought to be real once no longer seems real or to exist at all. It can get really disorienting.

It’s common to feel like you're floating or ungrounded … maybe because what you thought to be solid ground doesn’t seem so solid or real anymore. It’s hard to feel confident with what’s real when everything feels fuzzy, transparent, or ethereal. Uncertainty and doubt are loud in your mind. Fear of the unknown, or the loss of knowing what you know, starts to become normal. You may feel like Morpheus out of The Matrix is lecturing you on what is real and wondering how you can ever know or trust in what’s real ever again.

Depending on when in your life you’re freaking out from exploring existential questions usually influences the kinds of questions you’re most anxious about. There are some times in life that having an existential crisis is almost to be expected - quarter life in your mid to upper 20s, mid-life in our mid to upper 40s, and later in life as you retire. Whenever you’re experiencing this, it’s an opportunity to reinvent and expand your sense of self. Other milestones can prompt an existential crisis like adding (birth) or losing (death) family members, having a traumatic experience, divorce, career change, etc. Sometimes people have an experience that shakes their understanding of what it means to exist in the form of a mystical experience.

Regardless of when or why, you’re probably wanting to flee into the middle of nowhere and hide from the world as much as you’re wanting to feel centered, secure, and content with who you are and believe yourself to be. You don’t get to undo your new expanded awareness so it’s better to work to integrate the new found perspective.

If that resonates with you, you’re likely in the right place. We’re here to help.

There are different kinds of existential crises one can experience - some linked with age and developmental stages and others linked to specific circumstances and experiences one can have. They all share some common traits with a sense of a transformation of perspective taking place. We don’t like change so our natural resistance to change and our fear of the unknown get triggered. Depending on whether you’re introspective and diving deep into what reality is or getting knocked out of knowing what you thought you knew, talking through things is generally helpful and reassuring. Here are some of the kinds of existential crises people frequently experience.

A quarter-life crisis is a term that is becoming more commonly used. This is related to realizing one is fully into adulting and adulthood and usually experiencing some disillusionment and uncertainty about how one got to be here. Upper 20s is the usual age range people experience a quarter-life crisis as they’re closing in on their 30s. Usually people begin to realize that their sense of self is really tied into job/career, relationships, and the things they own with an awareness of how much of one’s internal world has been ignored and unexplored. It’s characterized by how to get really real about who you are if you’re not the things you do or have.

The mid-life crisis is one of the types of existential crises that people are most familiar with, the other is an identity crisis. Like the quarter-life crisis, the mid-life crisis is generally prompted by age (often 40s) and development rather than a specific life event. The mid-life crisis is generally focused around what the meaning of one’s life is and what kind of impact you’re having on the world around you. It’s common for people to contemplate whether anything has any meaning at all and if so, what kind of legacy one is leaving for the future.

The later-life crisis is often in one’s 60s and involves reflection on one’s life and whether it has any meaning to others. The timing of this crisis can be more challenging as there is less time available to address any changes you may wish to make if you view your life and choices negatively. Sometimes health and other limitations that come with age can make changes difficult or impossible to make.

An identity crisis is existential too, but a bit more limited in scope. Instead of being troubled by whether existence and reality are real, it’s more about whether your sense of self is accurate and whether you exist as a self. 

Other kinds of life events can prompt an existential crisis. These events can be common and worldly like a divorce, a traumatic event like a car accident, or other major life change. Other times, it’s more complicated because the experiences challenge our sense of what reality or existence truly are like a near death experience (NDE), mystical experience (spiritual awakening or similar), psychedelic experience, or leaving a strictly inclusive group like a cult or religious group. More details about this kind of experience known as ontological shock can be found here.

Regardless of the cause of your existential crisis, there are some common signs and symptoms including the following:

• Physical Signs: Like with many emotional upset, you’re likely to experience some headaches and muscle tension, digestive issues, and difficulty sleeping.
• Questions about Life and Purpose: The core of an existential crisis is wondering what it means to be alive and what’s the point. This can prompt a number of anxious feelings.
• Anxiety and Restlessness: Without a clear sense of purpose or what’s real, it’s easy to become anxious. Restlessness is common as well since it’s hard to figure out where to settle down.
• Dissatisfaction with Everything: A lot of the time, burnout and existential crises overlap. Everyday can feel like a repeat of the ones before it and losing motivation is easy. Feeling stuck or adrift is common.
• Alienation: It’s normal to feel like an alien in your own life. People, things, and activities can feel like a dream and even if you are spending time with others, you often feel isolated.
• Negative Thoughts: The longer you loop on questioning reality and self, the more likely you are to shift more and more into negative thoughts such as fear, self-doubt, and pessimism.

Recognizing these signs is the first step toward finding support. If you're experiencing some of these symptoms, it might be time to talk to someone.

Everyone’s experience is different and we do our best to personalize our work with you to best meet your needs. Our work together will include skill development to help you cope with stressors, manage yourself with emotions, and restore your ability to feel grounded. Our team has expertise in helping people like you restore your sense of connection and calm. Some of the approaches we use when working with existential crises include:

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
• Existential Therapy
• Integrative Therapy
• Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
• Mindfulness Based Therapy

Mindfulness can be a really helpful practice to navigate existential stress. Its focus on directing your awareness to the present moment with acceptance helps you connect with what the experience of existing is in this moment. With practicing mindfulness, you can learn to be comfortable floating between doing one thing into the next and listening to your intuition about what is most important to you. It can be a powerful skillset to help you explore existence itself just for you.