Our sense of self and who you are changes over time, and what you use to create our sense of identity evolves as well. When you’re young, your sense of self comes from those around you - parents, siblings, friends, teachers, mentors, etc. As you grow toward adulthood, much of your sense of identity is still drawn from the world around you - your peer group (or desired one), your taste in music, books, movies, activities, your areas of study and hobbies, your work, your choice of schools, etc. Even into your early adulthood, it’s likely you still put more weight onto how others may perceive you and less emphasis on who you would like to be without needing to fit in, be accepted, and make a living.

At some point in your life, you’re likely to experience what might feel like an identity crisis as you grow, your values change, you experience hardships or windfalls, and your relationships evolve. If you’re reading this page there’s a good chance you’re wondering if that time is now. Regular growth can sometimes feel disorienting or really major like changing careers or romantic partners, or growing within those significant aspects of life. What does it mean to double down into my company with a promotion? What will change if I get engaged or married? If I break up with my partner, am I less than whole? What am I doing with my life and do I want to keep doing it?

These are the kinds of questions that feel existential and cause us to look at who we think we are. Fearing changes to relationships with the world around us can sometimes keep us stuck and trapped in situations that stunt our development and limit our ability to feel happy and fulfilled. Reaching a point like this is like realizing you’ve entered a tunnel and there’s only one direction to go without much clarity about where the end is or how long it will take to get out. You’re probably feeling out of sync with yourself and the world around you. You’re also likely wondering why parts of you no longer seem to fit together and ask yourself - Well, how did I get here?

Some of the ways you may realize you’re having an identity crisis rather than just regular growth are the kinds of questions you may be asking yourself and how stressed out about them you may be. The closer you are to WTF with everything, the more likely you’re in crisis mode. Who am I? What am I doing? Why am I doing anything at all? Am I still me if I change my relationship, my job, my career, [fill in your own ____ ]. At the core of an identity crisis, you’re likely to have a feeling that your center of self is fuzzy or unknown, making things like mood swings, crankiness, anxiety, low motivation, and a feeling of pretending to be someone you’re not experiences you’re more likely to have.

Some of the most common symptoms of an identity crisis are:

• Mental Signs: Feeling disconnected or out-of-body on a regular basis like you’re watching yourself go through the motions of life without living it is common during an identity crisis. You may feel as though you’re putting on a mask and pretending to be the self the people around you are familiar with. You may also find it harder to handle stress, concentrate, or experience anxious, racing thoughts.
• Numbness: You may lose interest in things you’ve enjoyed in the past and feeling motivated doesn’t happen anymore. You may feel aware of your emotions but also not really feel them fully. It’s not a comfortable numbness.
• Withdrawal: The lack of interest and numbness often causes people to pull back from relationships and activities they’ve enjoyed in the past because they feel weird, stressful, or alien. This can lead to depression or anxiety if it goes on for too long.
• Physical Signs: Sleep and eating are frequently disrupted when we’re in crisis. Restlessness, difficulty falling and staying asleep, and getting enough sleep are common. Ongoing loss of appetite is a common experience too.
• Existential Dread: Nearly everyone experiencing an identity crisis asks existential questions like why did I believe this? Is this really something I value and want to continue to do? Who am I and how do I know that I’m me? An identity crisis is about who am I and what does it mean to be me while an existential crisis is more about what does it mean to exist and what is really real.

Losing confidence in your sense of self is anywhere from unsettling to really disorienting and anxiety inducing. We understand this and that everyone has their own, unique identity crisis and developmental journey. We will help you with a personalized, compassionate approach to help you reinvent yourself and reconnect with your sense of self and center. Some of the modalities that are especially helpful with identity and crisis are:

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

• Existential Therapy

• Integrative Therapy

• Motivational Interviewing (MI)

• Mindfulness Based Therapy

Mindfulness is in our namesake and can be an especially helpful tool in making sense of the nonsense and uncertainty that one can experience navigating identity and questioning one’s sense of self. The practice of awareness of one’s experience in the present moment without judgment can ease the disease that goes with an unsure sense of self and lack of grounding. It can be helpful to help you transform a rigid self concept into a fluid, dynamic, and responsive identity that can respond authentically in any situation.