In my own life, the most positive and lasting changes began in unexpected fashion. Some of these began in subtle ways with intention. Most arrived like an apocalypse. Often it is a set of sudden and unpleasant circumstances that create the opportunities needed to deeply examine who we are and how we live. These moments of upheaval make us uneasy as we are pushed beyond the boundaries of our comfort zone. Our sense of security is challenged across a wide range of dimensions and we often feel like we’re floating or adrift. We know these times as the dark nights of the soul.
These moments offer us a chance to heal and integrate seemingly lost parts of ourselves. Avoiding these parts of self may have beencnecessary for us to survive until we arrived in the present. New awareness often causes us to experience unpleasant feelings such as sadness, grief, loss, anger, shame, or guilt. Healing comes from choosing to embrace these parts of self rather than continue to try and escape them. We are the constant within our own lives, even when we do our best to change the environment around us. Working to heal the inner space has profound effects on the world around us.
When we accept the circumstances in our lives we begin to take responsibility for our relationship to them. We have the power to choose how we perceive our experiences. We can choose what meaning and value they give to us. When we do this, we plant the seeds of lasting change. We can learn to set our intentions more clearly. We can direct our experience of life to be more aligned with our values and desires, leading to a greater sense of fulfillment. Through this process, your future self can look back at these dark nights of the soul and thank them for the beautiful, resilient, and lush garden they planted for you.
I look forward to helping you through your dark nights of the soul and help you plant healthy seeds for your future.
Mindfulness is developing awareness of what our experiences are in the present moment and accepting these experiences for what they are. As we incorporate mindfulness in our lives, our moment to moment experiences become richer and our engagement deepens. It is a means to reduce our sense of suffering and enliven us. Mindfulness can be developed through many paths and takes many forms. It is a core part of how I work as a therapist and a fundamental part of how I live my life. I look forward to sharing with you how it may benefit you in yours as well.
Transitions take on many forms. Relationships, geographic, work and career related, and lifestyle changes are just a few of many possibilities. Each offers a new learning experience. I can help you as these transitions begin, or after they have had time to take root and you find yourself losing steam to keep them going.
Anxiety and Depression
Our thoughts have a significant influence over how we perceive and respond to ourselves and our circumstances. Anxiety and depression often represent a set of patterns in how we engage our internal and external worlds. These unconscious patterns leverage our emotions and color our mood. Using mindfulness, we can bring awareness to our patterns, observe how they shape our experience in the present moment, and with acceptance of our patterns and experiences, begin to change them.
Addiction and Substance Use
Addiction happens when we believe there is an external solution to something internal that feels empty, missing, lost, or otherwise unacceptable. Using alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, sex, or other means becomes a coping skill to address our internal suffering. Lasting recovery comes from changing our relationship to ourselves and addressing the sources of the underlying pain that cause our suffering. Developing and refining our sense of identity and learning to cultivate intimacy within ourselves and with others is crucial in establishing long-term recovery. I work with individuals who identify as having addiction issues as well as friends, partners, and family members coping with a loved one struggling with addiction.
Relationships are amazing teachers. They invite us to open up more deeply to ourselves and develop the comfort and trust to share ourselves authentically with another. They also teach us much about taking responsibility for our own stuff. Lasting relationships with deep emotional bonds teach us how to be both an individual and while deepening our connections with others. I can help you strengthen your identity and relationship with yourself and help you to develop the skills needed to form deep, lasting bonds with a partner.
Life and Career Counseling
We spend a significant portion of our lives working. I have experience and training in making informed decisions about career selection and change. There are a number of useful tools helpful in guiding individuals toward more fulfilling careers. I would be pleased to help you develop insight into what careers could bring you more fulfillment in life.
Please contact me today at 828-767-3357 or email@example.com to schedule a free 30-minute consultation.